I'm having a HEART ATTACK !!
It was a nice Spring day, the weather was overcast and humid. My sister and I had nothing to do, we were watching 'Baby Mama' and were lying on the couch like dead toads.
I had a conversation with my sister that went a little something like this:
ME: "I'm bored lets do something"
TIA: "Like what?"
ME: "I dunno catch a million leaves put them in a big bag, stand on our roof and throw them at passing cars?"
TIA: "No only lame people do that and I'm not lame and I shut down anything that may be remotely fun because I want to be anti-social, how about we go to the mall instead?"
ME: "But how will we get there if mum is at work?"
TIA: "We...... *SUSPENSE!!!* ... WALK" (Imagine her saying walk in slow motion and in a deep voice, it gives a much better effect)
ME: "OK!!"
Before we could do anything we had to call our mum at work so she knows we're safe.
*Picks up telephone and dials number, constant ringing is heard through the phone*
MUM : "Hello this is ******* from **********************! How can I help you?" (We have kept the identity of our mother and her work a secret so she can be safe from stalkers who may be reading this blog)
ME: *In my chain smokers low voice because I had a cold and my voice was all messed up* "Mum can me and Tia go to the Mall?"
MUM: "Who is this?"
ME: "Your daughter Demi"
MUM: "Oh DEMI!! Sorry I didn't recognize you with your chain smokers voice, sure you can go to the Mall but how will you get there?"
ME: "Walking"
MUM: "How about you ride your bikes to get some exercise?"
ME: "Yeah we'll do that! Or to get better exercise we could... walk?"
MUM: "How about taking the bus instead"
ME: "We could...walk and pretend we're on a bus?"
MUM: "Fine but if a car pulls over and says they lost their dog and could you help them find it say NO!"
ME: "Don't worry mum I'll just say I'm extremely allergic to dogs and start screaming RAPE! before running away in the opposite direction they came from." :)
MUM: "Good. I've taught you well. Well you guys have fun!"
*Hangs up before I could say goodbye*
We grabbed our stuff and started walking. We decided to take a short cut and go over the big hill and follow the path to the mall, we just didn't realize the hill was so big.
TIA: "Well F***"
We started our agonizing journey to the top of the hill. 20 minutes later we weren't even half way to the hill when it had started to rain, it was really cool... except I had a white shirt on..
But we, being the brave soldiers we are, kept marching on towards the top of the hill. 10 minutes later we finally reached half way. Walking the opposite way but on the same side were three 10 year old girls dressed in really slutty clothing.
I should probably tell you now that I have a problem and find it necessary to stare at people I don't know to freak them out. I should probably see a doctor.
Anyways, as these girls came closer towards us they noticed me starting and proceeded to yell and swear at us (THEY WERE 10 YEARS OLD ?! WTF ?!)
I still didn't stop staring which made them more angry.
Eventually they just insulted the clothes we were wearing and just passed with a final F*** YOU!
A couple minutes after they left I got a really bad pain in my just near my heart. I passed it off as I strained a muscle but after a couple of minutes of strained breathing I knew something was wrong.
My first thought was HEART ATTACK !! HOLY CRAP I was having a heart attack ! I'm a teenager having a heart attack on the biggest hill EVER !
I sat on the wet road and crawled into the fetal position because I knew I was going to die (HAHA This is kinda like the time I tripped of the rock and I thought I was going to die it also happened to be raining both days!) My sister came over and asked me what was wrong. She lacks sympathy and empathy so it really didn't surprise me when she kicked me in the back and told me to get up.
After a while she just picked me up and carried me down the hill, as we neared back were we started she dropped me on the cold wet grass and said I could get myself back home, while she walked back inside and listened to her music and became anti-social once again.
I never did find out about my heart attack because it soon went away.
So this one was pretty lame but still XD
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